


A gear slips

by Subtle_Shenanigans



Series: As The Pendulum Swings, And The Grandfather Chimes [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, For the most part, Introspection?, It's almost midnight lol, Second person POV, cause I can't keep it up except in titles, clock metaphor thing isn't really completely a thing, first direct typed onto AO3, i'm okay, mild depression, who cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subtle_Shenanigans/pseuds/Subtle_Shenanigans
Summary: Been meaning to write this. This one isn't planned really, just sketched out, so no promise it'll be any good.A few days ago I was depressed for four straight days; the kind where you don't really feel anything, so you don't want to get up or do anything, y'know? Usually my anxiety "balances" out and makes me get up and deal with my day, but even it loses at times.First time direct typing on AO3 on my phone so, *shrug*.





	A gear slips

**Author's Note:**

> Been meaning to write this. This one isn't planned really, just sketched out, so no promise it'll be any good.
> 
> A few days ago I was depressed for four straight days; the kind where you don't really feel anything, so you don't want to get up or do anything, y'know? Usually my anxiety "balances" out and makes me get up and deal with my day, but even it loses at times.
> 
> First time direct typing on AO3 on my phone so, *shrug*.

     Sometimes a gear slips.

 

    It's just a little one; usually nothing too important to completely impede your ability to function. But depending on the type and size of the gear, it _will_ affect you _._

  And so when that gear slips, you don't let it show. You have _never_ let it show, whether the emotion be sad or angry or, even at times, happy.

 _(In theory you understand that emotions range and are more complex than the basics; but you've only understood in yourself the basics, and even then not completely understood_ those - _because you have learned that your being emotional is considered invalid by others; there is no point in allowing one's self to become frustrated or hurt, for it only makes_ you _seem like more of a problem._

_It's obvious that you don't handle things 'right' although you've never let loose your control. You've already been forced to self-censor your behaviors and gog- **forbid** your let your emotions show. Even if you never understood them - or if you really felt them, confusing as that sounds - it's absolutely   s t i f l i n g . . .)_

 

But regardless, the gear _does_ slip. And once in a rare while you go numb and there's just this emptiness. Nothing is fun, can capture your attention. Nothing is worth the effort. And you want to sleep, for more like a few days.

 

And other times it's worse.

 

    Other times everything is too _much_ and _too **loud**_ ; until your chest _tightens_ and it _hurts_ and **burns**.

 

And in either of these awful moments, your brain never silences. It just goes go _es goes_ , until -

 

Well even when it stops it doesn't really. It leaves after affects that linger for days and days.

 

   And that's why you shove everything into a box into the closet. But everyone knows what happens when you overstuff a closet.

 

Your Grandma says its Pandora's box.

 

And you worry what'll happen when it opens up.

 

The gear is put back into place, but without the proper tools, it's bound to slip out again.

 


End file.
